We’ve matched two expectant moms and dads with adoptive families in the last few weeks.  It’s exciting to see everyone enter this next phase of waiting for a baby to be born.  It also tends to generate questions from people asking how on earth we decide which baby goes to which family.

In short, we don’t.  That decision lies with the expectant mother (and father, if he’s involved).  We do, however, guide the process in such a way that the matches are as close to everyone’s expectations as we can…and that starts almost from the moment we meet both the expectant parents and the adoptive parents.

At the time of choosing a match, expectant parents look at portfolios of families that we have selected for them.  By this point, we know what an expectant mother is looking for in the way of open communication or any other preferences they have.    We also know our adoptive families pretty well – we’ve had hard conversations with them about what kind of situation they are looking for, including potential drug exposure, willingness to continue communication with their child’s birth mother if she wishes, and how much about themselves they wish to reveal.  We’ve had hard conversations with them about racial issues and their own expectations.  We have asked them to stretch their arms as wide as they feel they can and trust that the Lord will bring them the right situation.

Making an adoption plan is a huge decision for expectant parents.  Choosing their child’s forever family is a part of that.  They may want to have a phone conversation or even a face to face meeting before coming to a final decision.  We coach our adoptive families on what is helpful in those conversations so that they feel as prepared for them as they can be.

Our goal is to present several highly qualified families to an expectant mother so that no matter what direction her heart tells her to go, the family will be an excellent choice.  Due to each expectant mother’s wishes, adoptive families are not ‘first in, first out’.  We emphasize the right match, not the fastest match.

That phone call to adoptive parents – the one where we can tell them “you’ve been matched!” – is one of the most exciting things we do at Zoe’s House.  We look forward to making a lot more of those phone calls, maybe even to you.